Ch 2. Roll Call

2 Weeks Earlier

It was the first day of the fall semester. Ronnie hurried to the class that Will and he picked together, which was Philosophy 101. The Greek architecture of the school was peaceful and besetting. It gave off a sense of familiarity and of culture, which was one of the reasons Ronnie picked DeMille University. As he passed through the main quad it was filled with hundreds of marigold patches and beside them the horde of bicycle racks. The quad was filled exciting new students fresh off of their high school commencement ceremony. They circled and bent their heads like lost pigeons. Ronnie recalled he was the same or even worse. He smiled as he recalled his year as a freshman.

The smile was short lived as he spotted Olivia Freeman, a venomous, blood spewing, warmongering, trifling harpy.  The red haired, scrunchie wearing, freckled face wretch was passing out her club’s flyers. Already? It’s only the first day. Thought Ronnie. But who knows maybe The Christ Crusade was going to play nice this year, maybe they won’t protest every AIDS benefit this year, maybe they won’t take down as much of the GSA flyers from all of the trees this time, maybe they won’t organize petitions to bring down the GSA, and maybe pigs will start skyrocketing into the sky using their stereotyped angel wings. One of the things that made last year unbearable was The Christ Crusade Club, which Ronnie thought was justly named as the term “crusade” literally means a religious war, their life’s’ purpose was to destroy the GSA at DeMille and to make the campus a gay-free campus. Before them Ronnie was a devout Christian, he went to church, said his prayers before bed, and most of all he used to pray often. He used to pray for his alcoholic father, his sickly mother, and his slut of a sister. He loved God more than anyone in his family. But that changed when he met Olivia Freeman and the horde of religious assailants who would stop at nothing to destroy and pester the lives of others with what he once thought was a Holy book. 

            A crippling chill overcame him as a tall figure came over to Olivia, hugged her and quickly kissed her full on the lips. It was Bradley Haines, the president of the Christ Crusade Club. He had the face of an angel briefly descended from the heavens, but the characteristic of a vengeful and morbid demon of Lucifer.  Fearing for his life Ronnie scurried past them as they watched him pass by.

            Approaching the Art building Ronnie spotted Theodore Simonsen, he called him Teddy for short. Teddy had the thick and greasy hair of an avid online PC gamer. Teddy was a gaming savant, everything about video games Teddy knew. His clothes looked musty and unwashed, his glasses thick and antiquated. At first sight Theodore looks like one of those computer freaks who stay up late at night playing World of Warcraft while choking their chicken to the video of Hot Milfs 2, but the only difference, is that Theodore would be watching Hot Dilfs 2 instead.  Ronnie met Theodore at the GSA club last year, they’ve been great friends ever since.

            “Teddy! Hey Teddy!” Yelled Ronnie as he caught up to him from behind. “Ronnie. How was the summer?” said Teddy in a melancholic voice.

“It was alright, went down to Miami for the Pride festival you should’ve gone with me and Will.”

“That pretentious queen? Never. Besides the new expansion set for War Cry came out during the summer… so I was busy” 

“Hey did you see the Crusaders? First day and they’re already putting up their signs and passing out their hateful flyers”

“Maybe we should do the same, there is a meeting tonight. You and Will coming?”

“I’ll definitely be coming, I don’t know about Will though”

Teddy suddenly shrunk behind Ronnie, as if he didn’t want to be seen by someone. “Teddy what’s wrong?”

 “Don’t move!” 

Sure enough, Teddy was hiding from the piece of man meat that was headed toward them. Jeremiah Freeman, cousin of Olivia, whom had no other affiliation with the Crusaders, as far as everyone knew. He grazed by them with his long, piercing blonde hair, his eyes covered by his transitional eyeglasses. He was wearing the traditional school suit along with a professional satchel. They hushed as he passed by them. Then they giggled when he left. 

“You’re such a grade schooler.” Said Ronnie. “You have to admit he’s so delightfully pleasing to look at. If I had a boyfriend like that maybe I’d skip on the War Cry every now and then.” 

“You want a straight boyfriend?” Ronnie said mockingly as they reached the hallway where Ronnie’s class was at. “No. Besides I was just men-“ 

“Who wants a straight boyfriend?” William Stegovitz, otherwise known as Will, popped out from behind them wearing his school colors’ flamboyantly and gaily. His Jewish features were noticeable on Will, from the baroque nose to the dusty black hair. Will’s voice penetrated the most solid walls as it was shrill and high pitched but most of all loud. 

“Will! It was about time! Have you seen what those Crusaders are doing?” Said Ronnie excitedly.

“I know. We need to strike these bitches down soon or else its gonna be a repeat of last year, and honey there aint a pair of Jimmy Choo shoes that are worth walking through that hellfire” Said Will waving a rolled up cosmo in his hand.

“Figures.” Said Teddy rolling his eyes. “Excuse you?” Said Will 

“You don’t care about the club, all you care about is being the center of attention. You’re such a snotty, belated drag queen” 

Will pounced at Teddy while Ronnie put himself in between them. “Will, stop it!”

“He started it!” Said Will retracting himself. He pulled back making sure his hair hadn’t been messed up.

“I’ll see you at the meeting tonight Ronnie” Teddy walked away angrily.  “We’ll be there” Said Ronnie.

“We’ll?” Said Will . “Yeah, you two need to start getting along. How are we going to beat the crusaders if we are not all united?” 

“Honey, this problem with the crusaders isn’t going to go away with a game of checkers. Those people have that gangster mob mentality; as long as they think we’re invading their territory they’re never going to back down.”

“Well, you’re still going. Come on let’s get to class.”

Ronnie and Will enter the auditorium-like classroom. The professor stands up from his desk, he writes the word Polaski on the board. Ronnie and Will scurry to their seat at the near back top of the class. 

“Alright my name is Mr. Polaski, you may call me Fred” Said the mildly chunky professor. “Let’s start with roll call.” Ronnie and Will sat down, the instant Ronnie heard roll call his hand sprang up.

“Ronald Abernathy?” Mr. Polaski looks up to find Ronnie’s hand already raised. Without fail Ronnie was always first on the roll list, it was part of his ego, thinking he was always number one. There was also something elating being the first to be called, it must be horrible being called In the middle because you’re just biting with anticipation when your name is going to come up. It was one of the little pleasures of life that Ronnie appreciated. 

Will’s name was called. They heard snickering from the class after his name was called. Not surprising, Will made himself a reputation last year, as what none could really say, he was really well rounded. It was at the end of the roll call that Ronnie freaked out.

“Regina Webber?”  A skinny brunette, sun tanned bimbo in the front raised her hand. “Jesu Maria and the Holy Spirit… that bitch is in our class” Said Will in a whimper. 

“Dammit” Said Ronnie. Regina Webber was the star cheerleader for the Crusaders, her influence in the student populace was enormous, of course all accredited to her large breasts enticing several math clubs and science clubs to support her and the Christ Crusaders. Regina was definitely a fat cat crusader, and a tough opponent. 

The professor started lecturing. Will opened his Cosmopolitan and began reading.

“What are you doing?!” asked Ronnie in a low voice. “It’s the first day Ronnie, how important can it be?” he flipped to the Horoscopes in a flash. 

“Oh my gosh, Ronnie, this is my month, I’m a Scorpio, read what it says” Will handed the Cosmo to Ronnie and he read.

Scorpio (October 23 – November3) The wavelengths are open and free this time of year for you. Something special will happen this month, be wary and cautious, you might miss the opportunity to entice an admirer.